Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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