just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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