Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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