Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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