if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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