I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
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no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
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I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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