I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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