k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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