I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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