I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize