Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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