God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize