ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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