So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize