No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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