We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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