it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You're like the curious george of whores
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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