He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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