Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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