In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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