You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize