i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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