You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
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i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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