We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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