I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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