Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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