You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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