I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You are a genius and a whore.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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