I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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