dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
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Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
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Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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