Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
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... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize