Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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