I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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