So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
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she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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