i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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