I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
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I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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