I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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