he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I need to align my fucking chakras
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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