I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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