There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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