My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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