why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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