Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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