Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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