All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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