Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize