idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
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If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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