Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize