I am puke
if i can run in heels then i can drive
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
wow bdsm is so cute
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