Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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